Passion seems to be the buzzword when thinking about what to do with your life these days. Many people throw the word around casually, but what does passion really mean?
How do you become passionate in something? What creates that spark in the dull monotone of everyday life? It's easy to say 'Follow your heart' and 'Love what you do, do what you love', but it's more than that - people who wholly accept these words at face-value risk blindly pursuing pleasurable activities that don't create value. And what about those who don't even know what they love? These words are hardly signposts to guide their steps. Life still seems meaningless and passionless when everything you can think about is just to put food on the table and grow the savings in your bank account.
In my 2.5 years of inquiry into passion and motivation, I've collected information and findings from academics, authors, and speakers. This entry is my two cents worth on passion - what it is and how you get it. Most of it is informed by Robert Vallerand's (a French psychologist and researcher on passion) work on the Dualistic Model of Passion. You can find it in this book.
The short answer to the big title question, in Vallerand's own words, is:
By having in one's life a harmonious passion toward an enjoyable and meaningful activity.
Let's dive into what that means.
What is Passion?
Passion is a strong inclination toward a self-defining activity that one loves, finds important, and devotes a significant amount of time and energy.
Vallerand's research for the past 6 years have turned up 2 kinds of passion we have for any activity we do: Harmonious and Obsessive.
Harmonious passion is where you incorporate the activity into your identity and your life, while freely accepting its importance. You do it willingly, without any form of external control. You can also choose not to do it without feeling guilty. The activity takes up some space in your life, but it's neither overpowering nor overwhelming other parts of your life.
Obsessive passion is where you incorporate the activity into your identity and your life, but with external and internal pressure. You do it for societal acceptance, or to boost your self-esteem, and the urge to do the activity is uncontrollable. You may feel guilty or frustrated when you don't do it, yet it may exhaust you when you spend time on it at the expense of other more important tasks or people in your life.
People with harmonious passion for their jobs are more satisfied with their lives, see more meaning in life, and are generally happier than people with obsessive passion. People with obsessive passion are more likely to feel anxious or depressed, presumably because of the mixed emotions experienced during the activity and after - you may enjoy the activity, but a part of you feels conflicted about it at the same time.
There's no question that passion gets you results, but at what cost?
Research on passion show without a doubt that passion begets performance. Passionate people put in much more time and effort in deliberate practice of their activity, which naturally leads to good performance in arts, sports, and music. No wonder Steve Jobs said, "The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know it when you find it." The improved performance from passion could even be a source of stable income. Google 'passion at work' and you see endless search results with quotes and articles on perseverance and passion at work.
But is there a cost?
In physical activities like dancing, yoga, basketball, and water polo, passionate people put in more time for practice and are less likely to get acutely injured because their bodies are well-prepared for the level of strain that comes with training. But obsessively passionate people face a higher risk of chronic injuries compared to harmoniously passionate people, since they find it difficult to disengage from training even with existing injuries that need rest to heal. Harmoniously passionate people are able to mindfully prioritise self-care without feeling bad about it, so face no risk of chronic injuries in their sport. Likewise, gamers who are obsessively passionate about MMORPGs (aka massively multiplayer online role-playing games) are more likely to have physical symptoms like appetite loss, sleep disorders, and dry eyes, but harmonious passion was unrelated to those symptoms.
Because obsessively passionate people neglect other parts of their lives, their relationships often take a toll. Here we're talking about the quality of relationships, not quantity. Obsessive passion is more highly associated with negative emotional states than harmonious passion, and the expression of these states (e.g. defensiveness, aloofness, unhappiness) don't help in making meaningful connections with others. This has been shown in both leisure (e.g. gaming, soccer) and formal (work-study groups) settings. Furthermore, people with obsessive passion are less able to allocate time away from the activity, which creates conflict with other life activities and hence the relationships involved. For example, obsessive passion for the Internet and soccer has been shown in studies to predict conflict with a loved one. Passion that conflicts with family and relationships ultimately leads to lower satisfaction with life and relationships.
"While both types of passion may lead to high levels of performance, obsessive passion may achieve this at a physical and psychological cost relative to harmonious passion."
Notice the kind of passion you have - is it helping you or harming you (and the people around you)?
How do you develop Passion?
How do you transform obsessive passion into harmonious passion? And what if you don't even have any kind of passion in the first place?
If you don't know what your passion is, you could think about something you seem drawn to do for no apparent reason. It could be anything - cooking, dancing, designing, social work, writing. Go take some classes. Grow your knowledge, gain your skills. Invest in yourself!
1. Supportive Environment
Having an environment that gives you the support you need in making choices will plant the seed of harmonious passion. Research has shown that self-motivation is triggered when parents support their children's autonomy at home and teachers support their students' autonomy in school. It's not just about having pure freedom of choice; there has to be structure in which advice and guidance are given within the choice the child has made.
Parents and teachers aside, you could seek out mentors - people who are already experienced in doing what you wish to do. Talk to them. Ask them questions. Find out more! More often than not, people will be willing to help and give their two cents. If you're not sure how, the global campaign Live Your Legend (that urges you to find and do the work you love) has some tips.
Be careful though. If the support you receive is controlled (for example, getting tangible rewards for doing it, being 'punished' for not doing it, hearing approval or disapproval based on your decision to do the activity), obsessive passion will result.
2. Aligned with Your Identity
Your interests and choices should be in line with your identity. Choose activities that are important to YOU, not just what you think your family or friends will accept. Activities that have the potential to contribute to your future identity are more likely to be better incorporated than others.
The little decisions you make each day form your habits and your identity. Choosing a healthier meal over sweet snacks is easier if you can see yourself as fit, without health ailments when you're older. If instead you make the choice because you're obliged to, this decision will be harder to sustain over time. The same logic applies to decisions about your passion. Choosing to attend photography workshops is easier when you can see yourself as a professional photographer in future. Choosing to invest in language lessons is easier when you can see yourself speaking that language fluently in future, whether it's for business or personal identity.
If your chosen identity is precisely the cause of conflict with other areas of your life, a possible reason is that the social identities that are inherent in your life are not being internalized. For example, your chosen identity as a professional athlete may be in conflict with your chosen identity as a father. It's possible and important to align both identities together in a way that is harmonious to you and the people in your life. What are your priorities? How can you allocate time and resources to both in a way that's constructive for the healthy growth and maintenance of both identities?
If you can't envision yourself in any particular role as of yet, it helps to see yourself as an explorer who's trying to figure out your way. So take the time to try as many different roles as possible. You'll find what you like and what you don't - and both are equally important. As you take more steps toward what you like, and away from what you don't, you'll end up walking towards something you're passionate about.