I recently completed John Maxwell's Talent is Never Enough. I was intrigued as the title seemed to be contrary to strengths psychology. And being a strengths advocate, I just had to read and find out his perspective. John highlighted many areas we can work on to maximize our talents and I write about the 3 that stood out the most for me.
1. Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.
Turns out, John's view aligns with Gallup's decades of research about our talents and strengths. Everyone has talents, be it innate or honed. What makes the difference is the choices you make in your life about how you direct your time and energy. Do your choices set you backwards or propel you forward? Do they capitalize on your talents to help you build the life you want?
People who neglect to make the right choices to release and maximize their talent continually underperform. Their talent allows them to stand out, but their wrong choices make them sit down. Their friends, families, coaches, and bosses see their giftedness, but they wonder why they so often come up short of expectations. Their talent gives them opportunity, but their wrong choices shut the door. Talent is a given, but you must earn success.
Nothing starts without you making the choice to start. You can start where you are, right now. You can start making choices to live differently. I've seen people giving lip service about the life they want and the dreams they have, without actually bothering to commit to move towards them. What a waste!
2. Value your interests and do it now.
I hope this never happens to you:
Died at 30. Buried at 60.
What does that mean? It means you start living your life for others and putting aside what you enjoy. I'm not talking about everyday hobbies. I'm talking about your purpose. What lights a fire within you? If you don't know, you're not alone but you'll most likely be spending your days like a hamster on a wheel - chasing materialism and external rewards you think makes you happy but in reality makes you a puppet of hedonism.
1500 people were tracked over twenty years in a study that divided them into 2 groups.
One group chose careers for the prospect of making money now in order to do what they wanted later,.
The other group chose careers for the reverse reason – to pursue what they wanted to do now and worry about the money later.
At the end of 20 years, 101 of the 1500 had become millionaires.
Out of them, 100 were from the second group!
It's easy to be skeptical about unconventional methods and take the safe route, especially in Singapore where being 'afraid to lose' is so deeply ingrained into our culture. Roosters and chickens kept in cages for many years actually choose to stay in the cages even if the door is open, Aravind Adiga wrote in The White Tiger. Some friends expressed skepticism when I told them about what John wrote. Not surprising. For sure, only 100 out of 750 in the second group became millionaires and not the rest. But that also means only 1 out of 750 in the first group became a millionaire. The perspective you take makes a difference.
3. People tend to become what the most important person in their lives believes they can be.
Think about small children. If their parents tell them they are losers, stupid, or worthless, they believe they are. If their parents tell them they are smart, attractive, and valuable, they believe they are. We embrace the opinions of people we respect.
Do the most important people in your life envision a positive future for you? Do they see great things ahead of you? How do they behave towards you in difficult times? If they bring you down, it's time to find new company. If they're family members, try spending more time with others to compensate for the negativity.
I've found this to be so true. Getting rid of toxic relationships and friendships has been the best thing I've ever done. It took a long time for me to stop feeling guilty doing that because I felt the need to be a 'good' friend / partner / sister / daughter to everyone. But I found that distancing myself from toxic people is the best way I can respect myself and them. And it gives me the space to believe in myself and my dreams.