Suffering is not necessary to derive meaning in life, but meaning may be derived from suffering. Do you agree?
I recently completed Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychologist, who wrote about his experiences in 4 different concentration camps in a bid to shine some light on the psychology of prisoners of war. (Thank you Johannes for lending me the book!)
His core belief is that every human being has a reason to live, and knowing this reason overrides all psychological issues so strongly, that man is able to withstand the worst of circumstances and cling on to life despite them.
"Patients have repeatedly told me how happy they were that the suicide attempt had not been successful; weeks, months, years later, they told me, it turned out that there was a solution to their problem, an answer to their question, a meaning to their life.
[To which he responds] Even if things only take such a good turn in one of a thousand cases, who can guarantee that in your case it will not happen one day, sooner or later? But in the first place, you have to live to see the day on which it may happen, so you have to survive in order to see that day dawn, and from now on the responsibility for survival does not leave you.
Even the helpless victim of a hopeless situation, facing a fate he cannot change, may rise above himself, may grow beyond himself, and by doing so change himself. He may turn a personal tragedy into triumph."
Victor focused on reuniting with his wife and incomplete manuscript he intended to publish as his reasons for holding on, for looking forward to the end of war and his release from prison. This was despite all the physical and psychological horrors he endured in camp.
What do you become when circumstances hit you hard?
Some become savages, destroying all others for their own survival. Some victimize themselves and allow resentment of their situations to simmer within, destroying themselves. Some rise above the circumstances, retaining their dignity, integrity, and sanity.
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
We always have a choice to decide how we react in any circumstances. Choosing to focus on the weaknesses of others only empowers their weaknesses in affecting you. Choosing to focus on the unfortunate situation you are in only releases you from taking responsibility for how you manage the situation.
But your suffering has a reason and purpose. Maybe your suffering will make you stronger, wiser. Maybe your suffering lessens the suffering of another. Maybe your suffering is a chance for you to forgive another person. Or maybe, you can't think of a reason for it at the moment. And that's ok - know that your self-worth is still retained, that you are a person of value, and you are still loved. The reason will make itself known to you sometime in future, but until then, have faith in yourself.