A question I believe all of us have asked at some point in our lives, whether as a passing thought or a recurring (and debilitating) tendency.
It applies to anything and everything. Our physical stature, our competence at work, our communication with friends and family, our interests, our schoolwork, our lives. We compare ourselves to the people around us, wondering if we match up and whether our lives should change based on their standards, goals, and achievements.
And in doing so, we riddle our minds with insecurities and self-doubt. We think others are judging what we say or do, or what we want to do, when the reality of the matter is that we are judging ourselves.
I could go into the psychology of the situation and analyze the reasons for this - probably an entire lifetime of living on the terms of significant others and shaping our behaviour for the approval of others - but it's probably more constructive to focus on the way forward from here.
This question also implies a desire for change, for improvement. Seeking self-improvement is natural and healthy, and really, is commendable. Sometimes comparisons with others can be motivating and inspiring, when we aspire to be like the role-model in our lives. The problem comes when the focus shifts from our potential for improvement to criticisms about our character.
Remember that what we are inside is valuable and precious. Even if our behaviours may not be the best we want them to be sometimes, they do not reflect the permanence of our personalities. Even the best of us have trouble communicating what might be well-meaning intentions.
We all have the capacity to love and accept ourselves for the people we are. Our desires, fears, goals, interests - these are unique and treasurable. It's time to stop judging ourselves for what makes us the people we are.
